you didnt know i had herpes?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
