a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
