just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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