I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
