Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize