so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
