it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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