Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
