I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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