if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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