Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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