this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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