some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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