We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
