I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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