What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Pants are for mortals
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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