Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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