do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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