i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
