my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
