You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
