Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
