you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
