He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
