Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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