I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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