Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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