Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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