His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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