Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
