it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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