Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
