cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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