I puked a lego.
operation harelip BJ is a go
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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