been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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