Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize