Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
zippers are such a cool invention
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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