Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
