i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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