Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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