Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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