Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's just like the Real World with babies
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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