Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Everything about him screamed your future.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
