Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
