My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
