I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize