Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
