I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
