How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
