We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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