Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
