dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
