last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize