Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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