He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
