So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
