We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
