I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
