Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
