Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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