dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
