He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
