My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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