You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
