now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
