did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
