she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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