Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
