I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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