sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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