Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
