i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
