i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
