I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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